I believe most folks want to be helpful and may not know how. Some people get “triggered” with their own issues and histories when disease, sickness, illness, etc is involved and they withdraw. People can feel uncomfortable or even inept in these situations, they don’t know what to do or say or offer. Some withdraw due to their own obligations and being overloaded. I feel the smallest segment of folks are just not able to give and/or support in ways we need; certainly not everyone is a “giver” and for me, I ultimately appreciate learning (even when it hurts) who you can and can’t count upon. It may become more clear there’s been a relationship in your life that has really been more one-sided and is healthier to release, in the long run.
When supports vanish, it can also open space for supports we didn’t even know were there or that we needed, that end up being an even better fit! This may be personal or professional support. I find it surprisingly empowering to realize that it’s ultimately largely in my control to get my needs met. It doesn’t always happen the way I think it should, or “soon enough”, but it generally happens. I regularly felt uncomfortable asking for and receiving help and had to really work on that gem of a lesson! Here’s a brief list of some little strategies that may be useful:
~Take good care, Suzannah